Life has been crazy lately. Between work, children, battling myself, and everyday stuff, I have felt overwhelmed and ready to throw in the towel. Through a series of unfortunate events, Steve and I have come to realize that how we had been dealing with discipline would no longer work. The girls are searching for their boundaries, and working regularly on pushing them out farther than we are comfortable with. After a long week, and many hours wondering what I am doing wrong, I have come to a few conclusions. They are not earth shattering, and really they were things I knew, but didn't know. Does that make any sense?
So this morning after gaining these bits of wisdom, my ability to stick to the plan of action was pu to the test right off the bat. One of my children had gotten out of bed last night, snuck into our room, taken something that didn't belong to her and slept with it under her pillow. I discovered it as she was making her bed and happened to lift up her pillow while I was standing in her room chatting. Rewinding a bit, I had just promised this same child the night before that if she would always tell me the truth I would try to not over react and get angry about what she was confessing to. So here was the moment of truth. I knew my reaction would be key. I asked where she got it, she told me, I said thank you, and put it away. Then after the bed was made she had a time out. Head down at the kitchen table. After breakfast she wanted her hair done, but we had no time left, and I had to tell her that because she had time out, the result was no time for hair. The victory for me, was not the lesson that I hope she learned. It was that as I told her that I couldn't do her hair I really felt bad and wished that I could. Please don't judge, but even a week ago, I would have probably felt she deserved whatever she got for sneaking and taking when she knows not to. I am grateful for the shift. Hopefully this is indicative of more good things to come.
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6 comments:
It's all about the small victories. I have to remind myself of that nearly every day!
Parenting is not for the faint in heart. But I really do believe that our best is Good Enough as long as we are working with the Lord and trusting Him to make up for what we can't do alone.
And as long as you don't lose your mind in the meantime! I've certainly had those days when I thought maybe I would -- or definitely I would. Hang in there. You're a great Mom and a wonderful person!
YEAH MEGAN!
That is certainly something I struggle with and have been trying to work on- empathy for the consequence of their bad choices. The Parenting with Love and Logic book always talks about this, but it's hard. I usually feel a natural "see, that's what happens when you..." Thanks for sharing.
That is certainly something I struggle with and have been trying to work on- empathy for the consequence of their bad choices. The Parenting with Love and Logic book always talks about this, but it's hard. I usually feel a natural "see, that's what happens when you..." Thanks for sharing.
I am a fan of the Love and Logic book. We went out to a Love and Logic parenting conference in Dallas a few years ago, that's how much we love the parenting ideas...I'm not perfect at using empathy every time, but it makes a huge difference when I use it. With Miles showing empathy and then giving him the consequence makes a world of difference--if I show anger he falls apart and becomes angry right back at me. Thanks for sharing this story. The small victories really count and make a difference! I think you're a great mom!
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